Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt ill equipped to answer one of your teenager’s questions. Anyone? I found something that may help.

Questions Kids Ask About Sex: Honest Answers for Every Age, by The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, edited by Melissa R. Cox.

I’ve been reading this book for a few weeks now, and need to let you know, parents, it’s wonderful. It’s one of the best “How do I talk to my kids about sex?” books that I have ever read. When we teach parent workshops, parents appreciate the information we give, but are always seeking for more answers to the question, “What do I say when my teen says ______?” If you’ve ever wondered that, or doubted your ability to come up with the appropriate words to answer a question, this is where you can find it. Our former blog writer references the book in other parts of our website, but it’s a new read for me. And if you haven’t picked it up, you should.

It goes from early childhood all the way to college. Each chapter is geared towards a certain age group, and has a list of teen-FAQs. The answers to each question are written in such a way that parents could just repeat them, if they chose. By the college level, when young adults are heading towards marriage, they even give parents ideas of how to put their words in writing. (Now, I might personally still prefer the conversation, but for those of you who are letter writers, it’s a wonderful tool.)

Parents, check it out here. You won’t regret it.

Parents,

As I was researching today, I came across a bunch of article and opinions about the new movie Twilight opening next week. Here are a few links for you to check out.*

1. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/twilight/ - gives a good overview of the plot, and includes many trailers, as well as posts from teenagers which reveal how their minds are perceiving the film.

2. http://www.parentpreviews.com/movie-reviews/twilight.shtml - A review of the movie which gives a general breakdown of what to expect from its PG-13 rating in regards to sensuality, explicit language, etc.

3. http://www.thesource4ym.com/youthculturewindow/article.asp?ID=56 - Another viewpoint to compare with the review above. This author is conservative, but very specific.

 Take a look parents, before you take your teens out to see the new flick. You may find these sites helpful!

*The opinions expressed on the websites above are for reference purposes only and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Wait For Your Mate.

Scientists have finally found a concrete link between the sexual content in television, and teenage pregnancy. Check out the article here.

 And speaking of mass media, look at what scientists have discovered about video games.

From birth, our brains are programmed towards mimicry. It’s how we learn when we are very young, but it is something that continues even up into adulthood. There’s studies showing that violent and sexual images often get mixed up in the minds of youth. Parents, if you were doubtful before, be aware.

Lay down the law about what your kids can and can’t watch (or game). Spend time watching TV with them, and observing their video game habits. Discuss what you see. It will help your kid sort things out.

Parents, are you on Facebook? If not, you should be. Or you should join whatever social networking site (Twitter, MySpace, etc.) your teen is on so that you can keep an eye on things.

Please understand, parents, I am not trying to advocate the idea of becoming a 24 hour spy of your teenager. But some savvy is required, if you are really going to keep tabs on what your teen is doing on the internet.

Why do I bring this up? Well, I was talking with a mom the other day who said that she only allowed her 17 year old daughter on Facebook because she knew her password. “That’s great!” I thought. Then I pondered it a bit more. I realized that having the password doesn’t assure mom of much at all. Why? Because the teen in question could form two Facebook identities - and keep one secret from her parents. If she’s not going to restrict her daughter from using Facebook, then joining is what this mom needs to do. That way she can “friend” all of her daughter’s friends, and search out any information she wants. Again, the goal is not to spy, but to keep an eye on things. Teens will post anything - and sometimes don’t think of the consequences.

Other internet tips:

Learn some online texting/chatting lingo, so you know what your teen is saying as you walk by the computer.

Visit popular sites like YouTube on a regular basis to see what’s being posted.

Don’t let them have a computer in their room where you can’t watch them.

Check your computer’s history (and the Recycle Bin on the desktop) regularly. If it’s recently been deleted or emptied, be suspicious!

In our parent workshop Home Connections packet, we have an internet contract. Think about writing one with your teen to set some limits for the net!

One question we come up against during our parent presentations is, “How young is too young to start talking with your kid about sex and sexuality?” The answer? As long as they’re asking, they’re never too young. The trick, of course, is to be age appropriate.

 Why do I bring this up? Well, I found this article today (another shocker), and despite the fact that it was full of the kind of info we usually post on our blog, it caught my attention because of a book it references: Too Sexy, Too Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids.

I read an excerpt today and came across two interesting anecdotes. The first, of a mother reassuring her 7 year old daughter who was feeling insecure about her body image, and the second of a teacher, probing a kindergarten boy as to why he had drawn a rather sensual picture of a woman.

I’m not sure what conclusions the author will come to, but I think I want to read it. Take a look at it yourself on Amazon. Let us know what you think.